Asking is scarier than we think.

Often we run into situations where we could use a helping hand, maybe even just the “thumbs up” of a helping hand. It can be tough to ask for help, and in my experience as a counselor and care-giver, I know the need to reach out may often present its own challenges.

So what is it? If we were playing a game where we held our breaths for a a few seconds, we’d probably feel little regret taking a huge breath after the game was over, or even more revealing, when we felt like we “couldn’t do it anymore.”

Stress is a killer. It adds negative qualities to our health, wellness, and relationships. So why do we keep holding onto what is hurting us? Why not let go, take that deep breath, and carry on?

Because it is hard, and sometimes harder to do alone. Rejection, misunderstanding, coming off as the bad person, misinformed, behind the curve, obsolete, weak, etc. can feel like a real threat. Often times it’s the first step that is missed. The one thing that doesn’t involve talking with anybody, well anybody else. It’s thinking about who that one trusted person is in your life, your ride or die. Someone who has no sway over your income, who has trusted you with something, who can’t hurt you with silly words or misunderstandings. I used my trusted person so often over the years that he began school at USC to become a counselor. He is on schedule to graduate this spring.

It’s okay to ask for help, but it’s also okay to be careful with who you ask. Our feelings and insecurities are personal, felt, fierce. Balance who you are with what you need to feel safe, and at peace. Feel free to reach out to so we can reach more together.

-USMCounselor

Michael Caceres M.Ed.